Tell me something, if someone who no longer lives in your house spontaneously shows up while no one's home and when you get back from work is aimlessly wandering between rooms without purpose, does it not warrant an inquiry as to his doings?

It's not as if I was telling him to get out or being rude. I simply asked, 'what are you doing here?' And he gets immediately pissy and defensive for no reason.

I'm sorry that if you've moved out and have your own apartment, took all your stuff with you, and then come over and no one's home and you're not making use of the TV or the fridge or really doing anything, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Besides, given the way he is, if I has decided to be suspicious, I'd be within my rights. He DID take several items that did not belong to him and he had no business taking with him when he left. And he's raided our house for groceries on a few occasions.

That, however, was not why I asked. I honestly couldn't figure out what he was doing.

Punk.

My day has just been varying degrees of happy and unhappy. I did get to watch some good movies, and a new episode of Castle.

On the other hand, my nerves lately are experiencing increasing deterioration, and for some reason when I woke up this morning everything in my neck felt taught and strained. It literally feels like I'm being choked by invisible hands. And it really hurts.

*sigh*

Well, I hope tomorrow goes better. It's my day off, so maybe I'll enjoy myself.

What is it about psychotic, violently-inclined and extremely good looking characters that look like they need a couple rounds of good fucking (with each other) that just makes me shiver at the thought?

God.

Never mind that crazy angry sex is just HOT, however you slice it, but jesus.

I suppose it could be do to the fact that I just love nutcases in general (it would certainly explain why I make so many of my own). I mean, I do have characters that like to just smash random passerbys' faces into glass panels or toss cars through shop windows, for giggles.

And then there was Baccano, and that was a fucking GOLD MINE of the psychologically disturbed of the murderous persuasion.

Fuck, CLAIRE, I love you so much, you are a god...

But now we have more nutcases, in the form of an sociopath-ic information broker who experts in parkour and knives, and a vicious-tempered bartender with a pension for throwing vending machines at people.

And let me tell you if that doesn't give me ideas.

Sigh...

So, naturally, I had to scour the internet for images and hopefully in the near future I will lay my hands on doujinshi as well (I have no doubt if I were in fucking Japan I'd find some no problem).

For now I've been immersing myself in Chrome and Allan and the Prototype to try to take my mind off my growing need for more.

A futile endeavor, to be sure, but an admirable one nonetheless.

So!

Finally got my sexy new TV. That was some serious happiness after yesterday's happenings, which mainly included a lot of futile running about to shops and not finding what I wanted. Even the TV tried to elude us, as when we went to pick it up it was out of stock at the store, and by then I was suffering from all the walking around due to my fucked up hip, so my friend, taking the money I'd given him, graciously dropped me and my other friend back at my house and then drove out to another store further out to pick it up, having called ahead so they'd hold one.

Thanks to that, we at last got to play our shiny XBox 3-sexy, and we went through a few rounds of ODST, beating the crap out of each other. Naturally, I sucked at it for the most part, as I never really played XBox games before now, and it's taking a while to remember the right buttons and get used to the camera. But that's okay.

Then, shortly after my buddies left, my day (or night, actually) went downhill again.

I was working with my tablet, and I stopped to think a moment, leaning my face on my hand, when suddenly it started spasming like crazy. It felt like a second heart was suddenly lodged in my lower arm and was beating frantically, and my finger started rapidly tapping against my cheek. When I pulled back and tested it, I still had conscious proper function, but my fingers felt like energized springs, and it hurt to fully flex my hand or lean on my elbow.

And that fucking sucked.

So I went to bed.

It's better today, but it looks like I'll have to have that surgery after all.

Damn.

That has become, hands down, my favorite line from the Sherlock Holmes movie. I canNOT seem to get that damn scene out of my head. Or stop snickering to myself and generally just looking like a freak when I think about it.

And it doesn't help when, after one such episode, after I finally got myself under control, a customer corners me in search of that very item.

How am I supposed to help myself?

Ah, the simple joys...

I'm fine, thanks. Life is stagnant. My hours are getting laid off again.

I hate you. Thank you. Good bye.

Well, after many long and grueling days on and off the last 3 months slaving over this thing, trying to figure out how to make it work, I at last have finished Alice the 2nd's portrait. And since I can't post it elsewhere yet until I finish Alice the first, I'm going to put it here.


Here is the finished lineart. Drawing all the hands was the biggest pain in the ass I've ever sat through, and the main reason this took so long to finish. I didn't even draw as many as I was originally going to, because by this point I was tired and figured I had enough.


Coloring was also a bit of a pain, because something in his skin tone refused to look right for the longest time, and the shading was hell on my hands. Needless to say I had to take short breaks to avoid cramping.


But, at long last, everything finally came together. I won't deny it, I think 2nd is fucking hot, and not just because I drew him. He's probably the kindest and the cruelest of all the Alices, if just because he's the one who knows the most, who understands Wonderland better than anyone. And as its permanent resident, he should.

He is the Cruelty of ALICE. This is how his piece sums up:

A million hands reach out to caress every inch of your cold skin
Unknowing of the rot and the cruelty that lies beneath it

But still you'll sing for them, poor souls who don't remember their deaths
After all, you ate them, every last one of them
But they don't remember, and they love you

Oh, yeah. He's where it at.

I love him.

So.

Tonight, for the second time this week, I have had the pleasure of viewing the new Sherlock Holmes movie, which is, simply put, a delight. I don't care what anyone says. As a fan of the original novels, I love the color and character they have added to dearly loved, but somewhat rigid characters.

The homoerotic tension and married couple manner doesn't hurt either.

Though it was a tad startling and irritating when, sitting in the theater, the Chipmunk movie began to roll. They'd given us the wrong tickets to the screening room, and we hurried next door, where the movie we wanted was actually playing, and fortunately, still showing previews.

Though this isn't quite as startling as what I returned home to after seeing it Monday with my family. When we arrived home I noted the air smelled hot, but I figured it was simply the ventilation. Then as I went down the hall the smell abruptly, and strongly, changed to that of burnt crayons, which I couldn't understand for the life of me, until I heard my sister's shocked exclamation next door, and upon entering her room to assess the problem, found one the multicolored light fixtures of her branched bedside lamp completely melted and sticking to her blankets.

She had apparently not only left the lights on when we left, but also a blanket over one of them, which trapped the heat, and caused the blanket and plastic to burn.

We're rather fortunate our house didn't burn down.

Oh, I want to be home for the holidays...

Wait, I already am.

Nevermind.

Well, let's see. There's...*looks out window* about a foot of snow burying everything in sight, adding to the three feet already encasing the yard. The dog has a giant bone that he will wear down to nothing in no more than a week. The family is down the hall eating breakfast and reminiscing over old photos, and I'm sitting here enjoying a little quiet.

Christmas was pretty cheap for us this year. I got a Fruits Basket boxset and Coraline. From my mother, who has a tradition of giving us all new pajamas on Christmas Eve that we have to wear that night, I got a onesie set of PJs of Thing One and Thing Two from Dr. Suess' Cat in the Hat. So now I look like a thing.

From my grandmother, I got allllllllll the crap of mine she'd collected over the years, including massive amount of photos like this:


Me and my sister. Cute, weren't we? She liked to sleep on me.

From my awesome friends, I get things like this;


From left to right, Murphy, Maxwell, and Mortimer. Murphy is mine, Maxwell is Nada's (who made them), and Mortimer belongs to my friend Jeff.

Now, to finish celebrating Christmas today, I'm going to play my porntastic BL game, munch on Ferroro Rochers, maybe bake a pie, watch some movies, and sketch a little.

Sounds like a perfect day.

Why are people at stores so fucking stupid?

I'm a manual laborer/custodian at my job, which means I do all the heavy lifting, stocking, carryouts, etc. One of my duties is going and bringing in carts from outside. Now I usually bring in 8 to 9 carts at a time, and yet when I reenter the store, fucking EVERYONE always move in front of me. Either they're not paying attention (big surprise), or trying to get across ahead of me, or just expect me to stop and go around them.

Let me teach about a little thing called momentum, people.

When I push the carts, the ones ahead are moving along from the force I'm exerting on the first, so if I stop moving, I can only put breaks on the carts I'm holding, and the rest are going to keep rolling along. I only actually have one cart in my grip. I can only reach up to three. That means, if you get in front of me and I have to stop, 5 or 6 of those carts are still going to be coming at you, and potentially hit you.

In other words? Get the fuck out of the fucking way.

God, I should just mow the bitches down. Would serve them right, the pricks.

Some woman once ran ahead of me to beat me to the doors while I was bringing them in, and then kept walking ahead of me. Then, like a dumbass, she stops dead ahead of me to rummage in her purse. So of course, I stop but the carts don't, and I tell her to look out. The carts ahead bump into her, and she turns around and GLARES at me, like I'm the stupid one.

Oh, I must've chewed my damn tongue off holding that one back.

Really, I hate some of the people who come into our store. They possess no fucking common sense WHATSOEVER.

The world has once again won out with awesome things. I am about to show you one of the funniest things you've probably seen in a while.

So, anyone that's actually been following my journal has likely heard me bitch about my mom and mention her recent divorce with my stepfather and how she never gets over it (she HAS gotten a lot better though).

So when I got home from work today, she asked if I'd gotten the mail earlier and I told her no. So she went outside for it and found a rather large box addressed to her from amazon.com. Naturally she's confused, as she didn't order anything from them, and I can hear her muttering about it down the hall while I'm dropping stuf and getting ready to take a shower. Then I hear her start laughing, in that 'oh my god, no way, HAHAHA' kind of way. Continuously. So as I go down the hall I say 'Do I even want to know what you're laughing at?' and she quickly calls me over.

So I do. And she's holding a box.

That's not particularly out of place, so I read the top. It says it's a 5-piece set of kitchen knives. Now I'm thinking, 'What's so funny about that? You just bought a new set of kitchen knives recently. I suppose in that case I could see how it would be funny in the ironic way, but not the way you're--'

Then she turns the box around so I can see the cover.

I promptly collapse in a fit of giggles.

This, people, was what was in the box.







It's called 'The Ex', and my mother's friend bought it for her as a laugh over her breakup with my stepdad. And oh my god, is it just...fucking hysterical. I could hardly stop laughing long enough to put it together. The stuff you can find these days is fucking amazing. Oh, and I also found some pictures I meant to put up a while back, but forgot about.

This was from my mom's birthday a few weeks back. I made her a cake, but when I went to frost it, I realized the tube was too big to write "Happy Birthday Mom" with, so I abbreviated it. Yay, lazy cakes. Good thing I'm not a baker.



This was our awesome 'all you can eat' pizza dinner. Honestly just looking at it is making me hungry. Dammit.



And lastly we have my sister, posing as our Christmas tree. My mom had gone to get it when we took this, but she doesn't make a bad replacement. Aside from being too short, of course.

Oh, yesterday was FUN. To start things off...

My TV blew up.

No, really.

My mom and I are sitting together on the couch watching Star Trek, and it's just getting to one of the good bits when suddenly there's this loud noise, like the snapping of a giant rubber band, and the screen goes black.

Scared the shit out of us.

There was no smoke or sparks or anything. But we were still afraid to go near it.

And then my best friend came over! I was so happy, I haven't seen her in forEVER. She came with us down to Lincoln to go see a play with my sister. It was called 'The Santa Diaries' and it was abso-fucking-lutely hilarious. Though it made me remember, for whatever reason, when I saw 'As You Like It' down there a year or so ago. I wish so bad I'd recorded that, because it was great.

She looks really good, though she apparently lives with a genius crazy. The worst kind.

I hope I get to see her again soon.

Then today was the usual work. It pissed me off when I left because my car was iced over from freezing rain! It couldn't have fucking waited another 20 minutes till after I got home!?

Of course not. That's silly.

Fucking weather. Trying to kill me.

YAY! Someone finally put our DOGS skit on Youtube!

Though it's pretty pixel-y, but that's okay! Because it was so much fun watching it from the outside, and watching our prop hit the floor when I slashed him.



Oh god, so much fun. I want to do this skit again, but with better recording. Maybe I can get 'Heine' to work with me on this.

Watch it if you want!

Well, it's snowing like a banshee outside.

6 to 12 inches they said. Looking out my window I'd say...12.

My dog feels so at home out there. Dumb animal.

And of course, the light bulb in my desk lamp burnt out, so now I can't draw, can't hardly see under here, god dammit. And I apparently hadn't bought another back up bulb (or at least, can't find it), nor can I go out to buy another one.

This seems like a good time to mention the 'damn it' point again.

On the bright side, I finally forced my mother to watch 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' today, and she cried like a baby the whole 2 hours through. Personally it always makes me smile. I also finished an icon, and scanned this!



It's not the complete version of course, it's missing a bunch of hands and blood, but that's okay. Introducing Alice the Second (again), properly this time. No, he is not the Mad Hatter, but he did murder him and steal his hat. After being murdered himself. Revenge, you know.

His part goes like this:

Alice the Second was a woeful man of song
He fell into Wonderland from promises of change
With its twisted power he brought forth that which he longed
Heedless that his melodies drove all those there deranged

As his dreamland slowly became more and more depraved
He was murdered by the madman beckoned by his thrall
And though he knew through vengeance he could no longer be saved
He succumbed to a rampage and then devoured them all

Eh heh, yeeeahhh...

I have a tad too much fun with psychotic characters.

But you know what, that's okay. That's just how I like it.

Well, today was our employee Christmas party, and we got to close the store an hour early. It also seems that in celebration of this, it decided to snow.

It wasn't bad. Lots of flakes, but it didn't stick.

Until we were about to close the store. Then it started snowing the good kind to make snowmen. Which is bad.

I almost ran off the road doing 15 after turning a corner. I HATE driving in snow. My car handles like SHIT.

The party wasn't bad though. I sat at a table by myself, but apparently I'm a people magnet, because my coworkers started flocking to me once they saw where I was. Then eventually I got 'kicked' out of my original table (got up and took a seat at the one next to it to talk to someone, and then someone took my original place). Then, again, people started coming to me. But it made for good conversation.

Now, they'd originally had tickets (I didn't get one) that were to be used for the prize drawing later on (I won some car magnets last year after I'd left that were given to me later), and I wasn't particularly interested in prizes. Since I had no ticket and didn't enter my name, I wasn't paying any attention to the drawings. Then suddenly people all around start calling me and I'm like "What? What the hell do you want?"

They'd called me.

And I'm sitting there going, "What the fuck, I didn't enter my name, they shouldn't be able to get me this year." Well, I get up and someone tells me to hurry, to which my managers respond, "Not like you do at work!"

I know the dig was in good fun, but it kind of pissed me off anyway, as they tend to call me when I'm outside or doing escorts, so obviously I can't hear it. Then they also usually wait 30 seconds between calls before trying again, and I'm on the other side of the store, DOING SOMETHING, so I'm thinking, fucking CHILL, I'm coming.

They also like to call me somewhere, and when I get there, they've moved somewhere else and are calling me AGAIN.

Anyway.

I won a gift card. For ten bucks. Woot, free lunch tomorrow!

Actually, out of 7 people at my table, myself included, 5 of us won. The ones who didn't, ironically, were the ones who wanted to.

They tried to get me to sing, too, when I came up for my prize. My answer was "NO."

All in all, a fun party. I freaked out some of my coworkers who've only ever seen me in my work shirt and jeans with the nice shirt I changed into. Yes, everyone, I am in fact a woman, now sit the fuck down before I beat you with my cutlery (that was confiscated early in the evening by my table mates for fear that I'd hurt someone).

Ah, good times.

Oh my god, how do people go through this?

I'm one of those people who only gets something that legitimately passes as being 'sick' once a year, once every other year. Oh sure, I get minor colds and sniffles, but none of that chest rattling, cottoned-headed shit like I've got know. I'm stuffed to high heaven, my throat and ribs are killing me, and the congestion is making my ears hurt. One minutely nice part is that I haven't had to worry about smells that would normally bother me, but I've also suffered significant losses to my sense of hearing and taste. All my food is kind of bland.

Except my medicine. That still tastes every bit as awful as always. Go fucking figure.

With how many times I've had to blow my nose that last two days, it's a wonder I still have any brain tissue in my head.

I've also discovered I sleep very poorly when sick. I wake up all all weird hours and am just not comfortable.

It's a bitch.

I'm sorry everyone out there who gets sick on a much more regular basis. This is hell.

And I'm not even feverish or throwing up, though I'm quite thankful for that.

On a more positive note I've been making more progress on 'The Way to Alice'. Second's picture should be up soon, and I finished rewriting my version of the lyrics (which was fun). I really love the Second. He's just so awesome. And powerful. And awesome.

I am running a fever.

It's like the craziest thing.

I don't feel sick. I don't feel nauseous or achy or anything really. My head just feels toasty, like it was by a fire.

I only even noticed because I felt kind of warm, and I never feel that warm unless I'm bundled in lairs or shut in a room with the heat on. Then I went into the bathroom and noticed my cheeks were rosy, like I had blush on. That's when I thought, 'hm,' and felt my face. Then I went for a thermometer.

It's a mild fever, barely even high enough to classify as 'fever', but for me, who usually sits around 95, 96 degrees, it's so....WEIRD.

It's nice being warm though.

And it least it was kind enough to hit me AFTER I got off work.

So I chugged some vitamins and will probably have to go to bed in about an hour, because FUCK if I'm gonna let it ruin my day off tomorrow. I got plans, bitch. Plans.

You shan't beat me.

Now, I need some before bed porn.

It's that time again! So, in honor, let me spam my journal with pictures again!


My mother has carved the bird and the table is set.


Part one of our feast, with those at the head digging in.


Part two. Stuffing and sweet potatoes, uhh.....


Part three. The appetizers.


From left to right: my mother, older brother, younger sister, and grandmother.


Chelsea and the hag are ready to chow.


My siblings (my younger brother, the baby, on the left).


CHOMP!


Look, look, there's me! I look so enthused right? Just check out my plate. Potatoes and...something with cream cheese. That was quite tasty, actually, but covered with poppy seeds, which I hate.


One more for the road.

The guests are over now, and we'll get around to pie in a little while. For now, I've got a date with the fireplace, and a soda.

Happy Turkey Day everyone! I hope you stuff your faces so full you choke, turn blue, and keel over. Heh heh heh heh...

My brother is a dumbass. I was peeling apples for a pie and he reached across me to grab one sitting under my hand which was holding the knife. So he cut himself.

Dumbass.

Then he wiped the blood on my arm, and made me apply antiseptic and bandage it for him. Freaking retard.

Oh well. Some never learn.

I actually got some typing down today before I was pulled into the kitchen for 'family time' aka cooking. I hate cooking. I hardly eat, so it's a waste of time.

But I do like peeling apples. Damn it.

I visited one of my friends today to help her with groceries shopping. Her boyfriend and oldest son are in Georgia for the next week, and she misses them. So I entertained her for a little while, though I couldn't stay long because I had chores to do.

One of my other friends kept pestering me about whether I had family plans tomorrow. It's Thanksgiving. Why the fuck would I not have family plans tomorrow? I don't know what made him think that just because I don't care about the holiday, my mother was going to let me run out and blow them off. Stupid.

Ah, but I'm in porn heaven right now. I'm making progress on my fics and even posted a new one.

Then, just because I can't help myself, I doodled the 2nd Alice from my 'Way to Alice' series. I really want to draw the scene where he's actually killed, and then eats the offender and everyone in his 'town'. But for know I'll have to make do with this.

So Bishie con was actually....

AMAZING!

No, really, it was great. It was small yeah, but who cares? There were no screaming retards, no overly done fanatics. Sure a few of them were of that shake your head and avoid breed but nothing too terrible.

I had a great time.

And Kosen! I bought so much freaking crap from them. I felt bad when I went to their panel, because only I and I think 2 others even knew who they were and read their works. I tried to make them feel welcome and convey my love for their work without acting like a fangirl idiot.

There were lots of funa dn amusing panels. For example, the karaoke didn't suck for a change. The butler cafe (which I helped out with)actually took the time to cater to the artist and dealers who couldn't leave their tables by selling them food and drinks and bringing it to them.

Whose Line is it Yaoi? was DEFINITELY the best panel we attended this weekend, and I thought I was going to puke, pass out, or both before it was done I was laughing so hard.

And my friend that I brought had a great time to, with I'm glad. She usually goes through so much hassle at cons she doesn't get to have as much fun, because she's always organizing large groups and being responsible for everything. So she got to take it easy this time, as I was mostly organizing, and there were only 4 of us (me, her, her boyfriend/fiance, and one of my friends). Her favorite part of this whole weekend was being able to sleep in the car instead of driving.

I'm definitely going again next year if this con continues. This was its first year, but I thought they did very well, so hopefully I'll see them again next year.

Oh yeah, and my costume!


Cosplaying is such a pain in the ass. The shoes hurt, the helmet gave me a headache it felt so heavy after a while, and the binding was crushing my ribs. But it turned out pretty well, and it was fun to be Badou. Best of all, not only did a number of people think I was male, but since hardly anyone there knew my character, I didn't have to worry about being jumped! (Thank god.)


I liked the guns the most. Too bad they were too cumbersome to carry around.


Despite my discomfort, I absolutely refused to change until we took this picture. The pose is one of my favorite panels in the manga, so I realy wanted to take it. Yay!

Our skit was the most fun thing to do in this get-up. It was the single highlight to the whole thing. I hope someone puts it up.

So I finally got the progress pictures from my friend last night over our work session Saturday. Here we go!


Here's the jacket, without the sleeves attached. Now, remember people, I am an amateur and this is my first time making a costume, and I'm making it by myself with people showing me how-to. So don't stone me or anything.


Here's it with the sleeves attached. Everything's really big for a reason that I'll go into in a minute.


Check out the spare room. I won't have any problems hiding things up those sleeves.


Then because I'm a dork, I had to properly pose.


The sleeves were so big and roomy I started doing the wave for fun while my friend was snapping shots. She couldn't stop laughing so I kept doing it randomly the rest of the day.


So here are the pants. Now, the reason the size is so huge is because we bought a previously owned jumpsuit and took it apart to use as a pattern. And the original suit was an extra, EXTRA plus, which my friend and I here couldn't stop fucking laughing over.


Pretty crazy difference, ya?


Then we pinned it to see how it would look attached like it's supposed to be. *snort*

Now, the costume's had more work done since then obviously. The top and bottom parts have all been taken and I'm working on finishing adding the pockets and darts and folds now. Then I just have to do all the details, and walla! I be Badou!

I also have my con schedule and hopefully my helmet will be in tomorrow.

This is going to be so much fun.